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Tuesday 20 May 2014

Bright lights, big city, bad people!

Our time of limbo in South Africa has been an adventure all of its own.  We arrived back in South Africa on the 23 January and took up residence in Pretoria which lasted all of 50 days.  The first few weeks we spent enjoying the luxuries of city life, a private bedroom with a double bed, a bath with running water, a cupboard to unpack our clothes into, shops close by, slabs of chocolate and delicious home cooked meals.  But with those luxuries of the big bad city comes the big bad people. 

Barry left for Uganda as planned on the 2nd March and right away I felt like a part of my soul was gone.  Considering that we have hardly been apart in the 7 years of our relationship, I took it quite well I think, until my boat was rocked, my patience was tested, my faith in the universe shook and my friendship, with whom I assumed was my good friend, failed dismally. 

So here is the long and the short of it, and of course without naming names, but I know the people involved read our blog and so know who they are. 
 
On the 16th March, Baz had been in Uganda for only two weeks, always worried about Joshua and I, missing us terribly while in a strange country far away from all that he knows and loves.  And BAM life as he knew it was all shot to hell!

Early hours on this day in March I was accused by an apparent prominent lawyer and her family, situated in Johannesburg, of being her younger brother’s drug dealer.  I endured abusive phone calls and sms’, hysterical screaming from a person who is apparently this prominent lawyer (who should in my books behave in a more professional manner) threatening me with the police and child welfare.  I was instructed to leave the property that I was renting a room at, at the time.  I was told that I was a disgusting mother and that my children deserve better. I was also told that this particular family had read my Facebook wall and my blog and that they ‘know what kind of person I am’.  

LAUGH OUT LOUD, what kind of person I am?  Hmmmmm, considering that this is the only family on this planet that doesn’t like me out of the thousands of people whose paths have crossed with me in my lifetime, I would say then that YOUR OPINION OF ME DOESN’T COUNT.

Why was I accused of that?  Because I smoke marijuana.  Yes, there you have it.  I smoke marijuana!  Do I smoke it every day? No.  Do I sell marijuana?  No.  Do I go and buy marijuana from the local guy on the street corner like a junkie?  No.  Do my children go hungry?  are they abused in any way, do my children think or love me any less? No.

I smoke marijuana because I choose an alternative lifestyle, I choose NOT to take anti-depressants, I choose to make use of alternative medicines instead of taking those harmful drugs prescribed by doctors.  I choose not to educate my son in accordance with that bullshit that is taught by the corrupt school teachers of today. I choose to stay away from anything to do with politics, I choose a life of travel with my life partner and my child because we choose not to conform to the norms of society.  And my hairstyle of choice… dreadlocks. 
 
Hmmmm… could that be the reason why this family chose me as their scapegoat instead of actually taking their own son to task and ensuring that he takes responsibility for the choices that he makes in life.  Ensuring that the police were involved in the so called 'bust', instead of trying to entrap me into something that, I actually had no involvement with.  Instead of buying and lying their way through life?  What kind of future does this boy have?  The mightier you are the harder you fall, so they say.  So let the mighty then fall hard.

Wow, how sad that one family, just one family can be that shallow and overlook the fact that their son is actually the drug dealer and addict.  How sad that one family believes that they have a right to try and destroy good people with accusations when they in fact are the ones who are the very example of those who are destructive and ooze evil into society.  How sad that this family believes that their son is innocent and everyone around him are the ones to blame for his drug soaked lifestyle.  Phew!

Anyhow, so since the 16th March, Joshua and I have been doing the best we can with the little that we have had and boy have we done real well.  We are super blessed to have some very special people in our lives, people who came forward and opened up their homes to us. Friends, who actually live up to the status of being our friends.  Friends who took us in, offered us support, advice and always put Joshua’s welfare first!  Real special people who have a real special place in my heart.

Joshua and I have stayed in five different homes in the last 8 weeks!! Not an easy way to live as every home has their own ways which are not our ways. But yet they made space when they didn’t have any and they did so without judgement.  Travelling with our backpacks, camping mattresses, a sleeping bag and a pillow, we backpacked like true champs.

I am so grateful that Joshua is the free spirited boy that he is, because 99% of today’s children would not have survived this adventure the way that he has.  Always smiling, always doing his bit to make this adventure exciting and happy.  Always taking time out of his busy day to put his arms around my neck and squeeze me so tight while reassuring me that “everything will be alright Mamma”  What a boy he is.
 
The saddest thing for Joshua was coming to learn the truth about his 'friend', this youngster, who was the reason why we went from being safe and settled while Dad is up Africa, to being home-less, unsettled and real sad at times.  It’s a sad lesson to learn at the age of 5, but he now has a very good understanding that he is NOT to trust anyone, not even his friends because it’s usually those closest to you that will hurt you real bad and let you down in life.  Our boy is now so much wiser.

So here we are, our last few days in Jozi.  We are in a good place, we are packing, shopping, packing and shopping some more.  Joshua and I are extremely excited to be joining Barry in Uganda soon.  Another awesome adventure is about to begin.  

Grateful, to be showing the middle finger to those who have been the cause of some heart-wrenching moments during the last few weeks.  Sad, to be saying farewell to those that we love and miss the most while we travel.  Super excited to be reunited with Barry again.

Today I say thank you to those of you who have opened your homes to Joshua and I, for one night, a weekend and up to two weeks.  Thank you to those of you who have taken us out for a meal and reassured us that all will be good.  Thank you to those of you who have bought us a few groceries and ensured that we have been fed and taken care of.  My list of thanks is endless. 

My most important thanks go out to Barry who is thousands of km’s away and has supported me and believed in me every step of the way.  Who has continued to love me unconditionally and who has motivated me to just keep on going.  This man, who has sacrificed so much for the greater good of his family. 

And me… I am stronger, more spiritual and I am even more convinced that our choice in our alternative lifestyle is the right way and the only way!  People will befriend you and they will stab you in the back whilst acting in a cowardly manner.  Those people are the very kind that I dismiss out of my life without hesitation.  I see that we are surrounded by nasty and destructive people.  Those people have no space in my life.  Ever!

I have always believed in KARMA and phew, I must admit, I don’t feel an inch of sympathy for those who have karma knocking on their doors, if not already, then soon.  The karma bus is on route and I am the driver ;-)


Bring on our new adventure.  Time to leave the bright lights of the big bad city behind.  Time to go where we are always happy. Time to continue our African dream xx

Remember to educate yourself before you accuse someone.  It will save you from and those around you from a whole lot of hurt.  Don't be a coward, if you want to know then simply ask.  Don't go and spread nasty rumors because at the end of it all, it is you who is un-liked, not trusted and your life will be filled with loneliness and bitterness.  

Peace, love and happiness always!

Blu





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